Page updated: 09/27/2002 05:27 PM

Well, I can't think of anything specific to talk about so I'm just going to rattle on about whatever this week, month or however long it's been. I'll be dead before Al gets this on the board anyways probably.

on drunks:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

There's been an awful lot of conversation about drunks on the trails lately. I'm not always in accordance with what the law thinks I should be doing so I suppose I'm no judge as to what you guys should be doing. And in fact I don't give a good hoot what you guys are doing as long as your not doing it to me and I ain't a party to it to begin with. Then it's every man woman and step child is on their own. Personally I do have a brewskie once in a while when wheeling. I used to have a whole bunch of them but now luckily for me I've lost interest for the most part. Good thing too, because it's real hard driving all the way home using the center of your hood on the white line for guidance. Yeah yeah yeah! You've all been there ok!! Anyways, you got to do what you got to do and accept the consequences for your actions I suppose. If you did happen to run over someone and have had a few beers, would you always think that you might not have made that error if you had been straight? Maybe you would and maybe you wouldn't. Depends on the individual. Personally I don't make excuses for my own stupidity and never ever blame anybody else for any shortcomings I have had. I put myself in the position of whatever the problem is and I ain't BS'ing myself about what could or couldn't have happened if I would have done something different. You are truly the master of your own fate. If you think there's going to be trouble and you can't take it, get the hell out of there. Don't blame it on some other guy. Laws are usually based on a good idea and like all things when man is out to protect you from yourself there's plenty of cash to be made from the Gestapo giving out tickets for you breaking the law. Some times you get a raw deal but how many times have you broken that same law and gotten away with it? heh heh! Plenty I bet. Anyways, it's all up to the individual as far as I've been able to figure out in life. Don't put yourself in a position unless your willing to take a knock up side the head for it once in a while. There's always going to be those fuzzy headed liberal's that deem it necessary to try to protect you from yourself. Along with a whole bunch of other stupid ideas they have come up with which I won't get into right now. I have the uncanny ability to look back and remember some of the things I've done in life. And not being much of a hypocrite it's pretty hard for me to judge others on their actions. Show me a guy that has never or professes to have never broken a law and I'll show you one pompous lying individual. So, what it boils down to is I'll manage my life just fine without any interference from you guys if you do the same for me. And if you were to butt into my business, well, then I guess you'd have to accept the consequences for your actions.

on the building of your jeep:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

So, you want to build a death defying double throw me down colossal jeep that will climb tall building even if you ain't in it huh? You need to give the situation a little thought before you go out and spend all the grocery money. You spend a lot of time reading mag's and seeing all these really built rigs and all of the sudden you just can't live without what your looking at. Well, the truth is it's sort of like looking at a playboy, It's all bitchen but it ain't likely your getting into any of it so you better come back to earth and figure out just exactly what kind of wheeling your going to be doing and what your rig needs to be built like to do it. Forget all the super mega built trucks and build what you need to be happy with in your area. And, all areas are completely different ya know, A mud jeep isn't going to be performing wonders and blunders along side one built for the RCAA event's. And vise-versa. If you live in Ohio and forgot what a mountain of boulders look like why the hell would you build a super low geared tractor? You need taller gears and big HP to navigate the danged plowed fields right! So that's what you should be looking at for a rig. If it's a daily driver...you don't really want to build a super duper low geared truck. I mean let's face it, except for in your own mind just how often do you actually go wheeling. And when you do, how much of it looks like the hammers or Surprise Canyon? Hahaha! Not very dammed much of! Even back when I thought of doing nothing but wheeling it was in reality 5 miles of something I could drive my 168" wheel base dully over and a pile of rocks that scared the bejesus out of me. But when I got home I was picturing this massively hard and nasty trail that in reality and without that rock pile could have been driven over by a newbie with a skate board. Haha! Oh man! the things that we go through in our minds eye huh! And let's face it. Is there really a trail you couldn't get over with a stock jeep and a winch? Hell no! I used to travel trails with minimal equipment all the time. Granted, you don't get there all that fast and you may look a little undernourished to the big dog's but hey! That guy ain't having to drive your jeep to work down HWY 5 in LA rush hour either. And it ain't his check book that's paying for all the mod's you don't need. So screw him and the rock crawling piece of crap he rode in on right!! I swear, I'll bet 90% of the aftermarket parts bought were just an excellent sales pitch. I mean except for me of course. I really needed all this bling bling stuff I've accumulated over the years.

If your out with a group that is wheeling a trail you have no business on, what the hell did you go with them for. And for that matter, why did they not tell you your rig ain't up to it in the first place. Because they want to see carnage of course. I mean who doesn't!! Hahaha! Give me a newbie with a stock jeep and a moderate trail he doesn't think is passable any time over and ego driven mega jeepster dude that's probably driving over his head any day. Nothing like the look on a newbies face when they've gotten over an obstacle that they thought was an impossibility. On the other hand there is that small group of die hards that have been there and done it all. So, it's no wonder they are chiseling out harder and harder trails all the time. They're great drivers and have very well set up rigs. That don't mean they don't pinch their seat covers clean up into their spinster though. Haha! Yep, they're just like the newbie but on a different lever. The trick is to not get caught up in a group that's over your experience level. Does it happen? It sure does and as it is with all things there's those that pick it up fast and those that don't. Also, those that never will. Their pretty easy to spot. Just watch their face the first time they get that inevitable smashed fender or new crease down the side of their bright and shiny new ride. Hey! I've seen tears man!! You feel obligated to let some new guy in on runs they probably shouldn't be going on in the first place sometimes. All you can do is warn them about what they are about to encounter and hope they can handle it. Of course there is always the loud mouthed know it all that wants to come along. Now here's a guy you most definitely want to go. Especially if he's in over his head. It ain't going to do any good to try to explain it all to him so, ya shake you head and nod to your buds and get it on. Funny how even with the guys that know what's up the bs'ing seems to come to a stop when your ass is really on the line. But look out around the fire pit when all are there to listen to how your alligator mouth overloaded your hummingbird ass that day. Hahaha! I think I got off track, but what the hell! I'm just yakking anyway.

Anyways, I think the point I was trying to make way back up there was that when your first starting out, don't get all caught up in the huge giant I can't live without this or that thing. All it does is fill your garage walls with mistakes you've made along the way. I've done it and so has every guy that's ever built a rig but, try to keep it down to a minimum and your overall rig will be much cheaper. Also, as you go along you get to know your rig and can get out of the tight spots because of experience and not pure luck. Build something past your ability to use it properly and your more than likely to get into situations where your lost. If your not with people you know that are looking out for you, your toast! So, take your time and build it right the first time so we ain't reading about you in the paper some day in the obit's ok!!

I know many wheelers that have built their rig's from the wrecking yard pretty much. These guys have some pretty awesome wheels too! They know how to build them and what works and what doesn't. They're also very knowledgeable in all aspect's of the ability to get swapped in parts to work. Have welders cutting torches, plasma cutters and all the tools it takes to get the job done. While some of us poseur pinko's are down at the local shop spending big buck's these guys are in the wrecking yards getting three of everything just in case for peanuts. It's a wonder to behold some of the innovating ideas I've seen on the trails that cost me 2K and cost them 300 bucks from a defunct waggy that everybody thought was trash. Yep! It pay's to know your stuff in this sport for dammed sure. Pokey has a lot of cash put into it over the years. I sure would like to have that cash back because I now know I could build the danged thing even better for 1/3 the price. Seems like ya have to fix pretty much everything you have done anyways these day's. Most shop's just do not take any pride in their work anymore. There's a few but they're few and far between believe me. Customer service is a thing of the past and when and if you find it, hang onto it man. Make sure you support these guy's that do the job right and give you good service like they might want you to come back some time. It really pisses me off when I pay to have something done and end up finishing the job myself because lines are run wrong or hoses are left dangling or whatever. I know if I take it back for such trivial stuff I'll probably make a spectacle of myself as I'm telling them about what a bunch of di&kwads they are so, what's a guy to do?

On JA posts:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

I've been on the JA board almost since it's conception. (Hmm that doesn't sound right) and seen it grow with quite a few new listers. The post seem to be taking on a particular style also. Seems as though no matter the query, it always ends up turning into a sexual conversation. I ain't saying it's bad or good. Just saying. Any thread that goes on for more than a page turns into something entirely different from what the original poster intended. Some of it is hilarious and some of it is just plain obscene. And of course, some of it is just plain obscene and hilarious at the same time. As it is with all things, some take it for entertainment and some peoples entertainment is taken out of context by others. All lists seem to gravitate towards the ridiculous however, so this doesn't surprise me any. Remember, I ain't saying I'm for or against any of it. I know where the delete key is if I don't think it's an appropriate thread for my eye's to be witnessing. I will say that there's never been a thread I haven't read all the way through however. I can be sort of a prude and really don't like the inappropriate threads that sometimes appear but..WTF right!

There is currently a thread on a beaver shot someone thought would be pretty funny. Well, it was to some. On the other hand there were some that didn't think it was a bit funny! Why? Because they have kids that either read or see what pappy is looking at on the computer. So, it's quite understandable that they may not view these things as funny. I mean if your still in college and your future kids are floating around in your nut sack what the hell do you care! You think all obscene things are funny. I'm sure my kids would think they're funny to but they're probably older than 90% of the people on JA. I know for a fact I wouldn't want my grandkids seeing some of the stuff on the bbd. But, if they do I calmly explain exactly what it is just like I did my kid's. Much to my daughters dismay I might add. Hahaha! My son in law say's when the school call's he's calling me to go down and explain on how they can come up with these sayings they seem to be so fond of in kindergarten. Hey! I like to keep them on a reality basis ok! You know, the don't do it, but know what it is when someone else does it or say's it. I know they will be inundated with all sorts of crap in their young lives and I really don't want to add to it in a negative way but, reality is harsh sometimes and I'd rather they found out about such things from me and than some dingaling that could care less about them. Thankfully their rent's are doing a fine job on keeping them squared away though. Holy crapinoli! I sure wouldn't want anymore me's running around.

I've noticed that the women seen to be just a little more outgoing than the men these day's. WTF is up with that? Are the men just being polite because they know there are women on the board.? Can't they read? I guess I'm from the old school and don't understand this stuff completely yet. I do however have a theory on the subject.

It seems as though the males in the US have been brow beaten by the fairer sex to the point that they sure don't resemble anything like the men I grew up with. Is that a bad or good thing? Can't say for sure, just taking notice is all. Things change and so do people in whatever situation they are raised under. Also probably 50% of the men today were raised in a one parent household. For the vast majority it was mom that did the raising. There just ain't no substitute for dad being around I'm afraid. As hard as mom tries she will never be able to take the place of the masculine male in the household. I know this is gonna piss some people of but. Hahaha! Who cares!

And if the males of today were to act like the males of yesteryear they'd all be in jail anyways so maybe it's a good thing. The lady's say that if they were running the country we'd all be better off and wouldn't waste our time on stupid stuff like wars etc. Seems to the lady's are nastier than we men ever were. In politics' and in all other areas. Personally I'm sort of glad it's happened because I don't like whiny women that can't take care of themselves anyways. But they shouldn't need to turn out future warriors into pencil dic&ed pansies to take charge. And from what I'm witnessing around the country, there just ain't no men left hardly. If they act like one they get chastised to death for it by our misled society. Women in the fire dept for instance. I wonder how many could carry my 260 lbs down a ladder in a fire. And if they could, would you guys want to married to her? Yikes! I'm quit sure you'd never have a sharp razor in the bathroom and forget about the after shave for god's sake! Do women really want to go out and fight in a war? Well, does anybody really but you know what I mean. Let's face it women are very good at the things women do and some of the things men do. But they have neither the strength nor tenacity a man has. Men are (or used to be) warriors. They got big bicep's so they can kick the bejeesus out of them commies when the need arises. Women? Come on!!!!!!

We now have unisex bathrooms sprouting up all over the country. I don't know about you guys but I don't want women in the head when I'm standing there taking a leak! Unless they can stand there and do the same dammed thing. I'm sure some can but I wouldn't want to take her on a date. One of the funniest things about being in a public restroom is when 20 guys are standing there taking a leak and expelling all kinds of gaseous fumes out their asses at the same time. I mean if you were on a date with some broad and she went into the head and stood next to you and got into commotion with all the other guys standing there, would you want to take her home to mom? I would especially like to see her be able to stand there farting on the guy waiting in line behind her and pissing up a blue streak while picking her nose all at the same time. Yeah! Try that ladies! I think you'd pee all over your Levi's!!! Of course they could install bidet's for all the sexes. If you went out with a skinny chick you could even have a bit of unipee together at the same time I bet. I wouldn't know that to be true but, I have been to Vegas ok!!

Of course wars in the future will be fought with the push of a button I guess so women aught to be able to handle that part. Women and men are a very different breed by sexuality. But it's becoming more and more clear to me that they are raising they're son's to be as they are and it's working. It's going to be a unisex society in the not to distant future. Never thought I'd see the day that either sex would be wearing each others clothes and nobody would notice the difference. But, it's happened. Instead of utilizing the masculinity of most men to do the job's more suited to be done by men we now have the equal opportunity society. Is it better or worse for us all? Who knows! Only time will tell. No doubt about it women are far more suited to run the world than man. They are stronger and when the need arises tougher. Not physically necessarily but in other way's unknown to us dillards that think you can just kick the crap out of whatever don't suit you type of guys.

Does this all bother me at all? Hell no! I like to see anybody and everybody be the best they can be in life regardless of sex creed or color. The more they do the less I have to do! Hell I may even move to Russia where the men are men and so are the women.

Anyways, back to the beaver.....Now if it weren't bad enough to post a crotch shot and having some pretty serious opposition to it in the thread, some yahoo (and I ain't naming names here cuzz you know who ya are) puts up a new thread with a real beaver in it. Hahahaha! I mean oh my! Anyways. it of course turns into the same thread but with some different coloration of the facts.
It is of course hilarious to some but, I'm sure there are those that will not think it's all that funny. It's kind funny how we are all different in so many ways huh! Seems to come out in all aspects of life. From jeeps to porn. Oh and you guys banning your kids from reading JA because of some of the threads content better get that playboy out from under their bed. after all, mom has to do the laundry and we all know mom's don't know nothing about such things. Which makes me wonder how they became moms to begin with. You don't suppose old mom has a play girl under her own mattress do ya? Yikes! The thought sickens me!!!!!!! Since this part seems to be leading into the same direction as most posts on JA I'll conclude by saying. To each his own and remember, you kids are way smarter than you are and you'll only get smarter than they are as they grow up and have kids of their own and realize you may have been a little smarter than they originally though back when they were hiding the bong and the shlong in the same places you his those things when you were a kid. And your grandfather and his grandfather did. Not grandma's however cuzz we all know they were mothers once too right!!

Hold on, got to go out and check the illegal I got doing the yard work my old lady thinks I'm doing today. BRB.........Yep! They're doing just fine. Funny how they're gears change when you go out and just stare at them. Hahahaha!

So, how does all this effect anyone? It doesn't seem to matter to most as far as I can see. I personally don't give a hoot because nobody pay's much attention to me most of the time anyways. Which is just the way I like it.

On drug's::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Who all out there is doing or has done drug's anyways? I would suspect that most have done them at one time or another in your life. Or at least experimented with them to some extent. Haha! Well, with some of you it's quite obvious as a matter of fact. No offence to those of which I speak. You know who you are. Or maybe not whatever.....

The only drug out there when I was growing up was beer. A habit I formed as a young child and never really got over although I have tapered off quit a bit due to the pleading of others that contend that I act sort of nutty when on beer. Which is of course not true as far as I can remember. There was a total taboo on weed. I only knew one guy in high school that smoked the evil weed. His dad smoked it with him and they were both car nuts. You know the kind. Auto shop and the rest of school could go take a flying leap as far as they were concerned. He probably owns a dealership today however. Anyways, I can remember some pretty gruesome stuff on TV about it (all 2 channels) and how it would lead to other nasty stuff that would lead to some dastardly hard drugs that would mean the end of you as a person. Showed guys smokin and then braking beer bottles and taking swig's out of the bottle. Yikes! Scared the bejeesus out of all of us. Nobody and I mean nobody would have a thing to do with the toker in auto shop. But man the beer parties we all had were something else. All the cheer leaders ended up pregnant and all the jocks went on to become day labors. Which was a shame considering their popularity in school. Of course the "60"s came along and everybody just loved the crap out of everybody else and they all puffed away and thought society sucked no end. Next time you retain an attorney or see your local doc just remember that they were sucking on bongs at the concerts long before any of you were born. Matter of fact many of your mothers may have even been cheer leaders. We all think we know who dad was but hey! Get serious!! Anyways the dope was flowing big time and everybody thought it was alright. Some went on to a lot worse things and are in fact in jail or a mental institution still today. Some just did what came naturally and pretty much quit the whole scene when they grew up and had kid's and didn't want to be hypocrites. Some are still indulging in the occult however and will never really grow up. Still trying to re-capture their youth I suppose.

Me personally, I never did drugs. I know! You may find this hard to believe because I'm sort of strange but it's a natural phenomenon with me I assure you. I did as I said do my share of drinking through out my life and had a blast I might add. Still smoke cigg's but that's about the extent of it for me. Well, there was the playboys mag's but I replaced them with JP and off road mag's. Good thing to at my advanced age. I did try weed one time however. A laborer that worked for me thought I was just a little to let's just say...uptight! Or as far as I'm concerned normal. I was running a pretty big job and didn't have time to pamper the elite grunge crew so they thought I was a harsh sob I guess. hahaha!

So, he grew his own stuff. Had hair down to his ankles and spent all winter working for me and living free at his brother in laws so he and his GF could cruise all summer with bag's of dope they raised in their house. Hahaha! Hippies I swear!! Anyways after much ado he talked me into trying it to in his words mellow me out so he and the other guys wouldn't get yelled at and fired etc all the time. For instance, I cam back to the job site late one night and there were like 8 of these worthless beggars sitting in a closed up car that looked like the London fog had set in. I snuck up on them and slammed a 3x4 on the roof so hard I'm sure they all literally shit their pants. Hahahaha! It was hard not to laugh but I acted really pissed off at them doing that crap on my job. Dammed dummies anyways!

So, he gave me what I now know as a lid. A baggie full of tree branches is what it looked like to me. What did know. He assumed I knew what to do with it I guess. Just gave me a baggie of his own private stash and walked off. Told me if I drank it wouldn't work. He also told me it would make me very paranoid and don't hang out in the fast lane of traffic if people were flipping me off and passing on the right. I had absolutely no idea WTF he was talking about but took the bag to shut him up after listening to him all winter.

Now,I smoked quite a bit and just plain couldn't suck that smoke straight into my lungs like I'd seen others do. I remembered that some people put this weed into brownies however. Since I didn't have an oven with me I deciphered that I would somehow ingest it and not drink any beer. I had no hopes for the tree however so just in case I picked up a 12 pack. Went to Beef and Bun whistle stop and bought the largest burger I could get. A train burger or something.With cheese!

Now I haven't a clue so I'm heading up to the mountains in my truck. At the first light I reach into this bag, lid whatever and toss the contents into the burger. Hahaha! I felt like I was eating some brush but kept on chewing it down so I could swallow the stuff. There was just a little left in the bag. Seeds I think. I ate the whole freaking thing!

So I am driving around in the mountains waiting for something to happen nada, nothing at all I decided. So I dive into the beer and can't wait to get to the job the next day to tell these hippies what a crock this stuff was. On the way down the freeway after I polished off the beer I notice people flipping me off. Hey Fu*$ you I I'm yelling back at them. Hahaha! I thought I was a bad ass in those days ya know. After quite a few had flipped me off I remembered what this guy told me and pulled over into the slow lane wondering WTF! Still didn't feel anything to the best of my knowledge. But, I did pull over maybe 5 times to hid the seeds and bag in a different spot. That's when I realized that maybe he was right about the paranoia. Still didn't think anything out of the ordinary was happening until I stopped at a 4 way stop and looked both ways. Oh my God! I was seeing streaks or something for god's sake! Another block or two and I was so totally wasted I could just barely see at all. I remember preying to the powers that be to just get me home this one more time and I swear!!!! Yeah right!

Anyways, I did get home taking all side streets at what I figure was about 4 MPH after thinking about it. I laid on the bed and my freaking head was spinning so fast I thought the bed was in the air. Finally, I passed out. Not an enjoyable night at all! I was to say the least more than a little irritated about this. And the next morning when I got to the job I call's this hippified drugged out long haired socialist pig over to one of the units that was sheet rocked so nobody could hear us. Soon as he walked in the door way I grabbed his silly ass by the neck and spent 5 minutes expounding on what a bunch of loser freaked out unbelievable nasty bunch of bastards his generation was. He was to say the least perplexed at my reaction to his calming weed I suppose.

He exasperatingly ask me what the hell happend! I told him what I did and he acted like he almost ended my life. Couldn't EVEN believe I ate the whole bag all at once. Hey! I was a green horn ok!!
This guy was most definitely disturbed by the whole sorted affair. I still acted like I was desperately pissed off at him but was laughing my ass off in reality. They never brought that subject up again for as long as they worked for me. And it's a good thing too!

Anyways. I've never touched that evil crap again. Figured I was much better suited to swill beer and blow chunks. I ain't got nothing against anybody else that does them long as it doesn't interfere with me. Don't like it around me because I have 2 state licenses that could be revoked if they were to pop the group and I was there. But of course it goes on in the shadows anyways.

OK guys, that's all there is to that this time cuzz I don't want to waste banditches or sandwiches or whatever it is you guys yak about all the time. See ya next month! Or whenever!!

Bud