Page updated: 04/22/2004 10:45 PM

OK, I've been thinking about this for quite a while.  Way back when there weren't anything but army surplus jeeps to wheel with for the most part I wanted a 4x4 to get me out into the field to hunt fish explore and in general go where no man had gone before.  Or, woman these days.  heh heh!

I transformed just about every car truck etc I ever owned in order to get it way the hell beyond anywhere most sane people wanted to go.  Ripped rear seats and trunks out so we could sleep in icy snowy mountain passes where we would inveriably get stuck at midnight on a Friday night after school let out.  Yeah yeah I went to school ok!  It didn't agree with me however.  They kept trying to get me to show up on time and be in classes I didn't want to be in and sit next to nuded out book worms that would have a stroke if they were faced with my dangerous and dastardly deeds in the out back.  I guess "as some already know" I am a non conformist.  Never liked anybody to tell me what to do or when to do it.  My friends mothers never liked their chillens to be hanging around with me.  Well, until high school and they still didn't like it much but I think a few of them liked me.  Hahaha!  That's another story of course.  I may have been a little to worldly for them to think their presious little darlings should be hanging out with.  I was a little on the wild side I suppose but.  Hey!  I wondered off there.  heh heh!  But, some of their mothers were damned cute.

Anyways, I kept pondering the options I had at the time to scavange up the right vehicle for me.  Luckily there weren't the options there are today or I would most likley not be here.

Anyways, while going to scholl half days and attending a carpenters apprentice school the other half I had some options to concider.  Which consisted of taking the day off half the week and heading to the beach to hang out and wait for the nerdy friends to get out of class and join me at the beach.  A sixer of Bull Dog Stout and we were turned into wild men.

Showing off to the girls that probably thought we were bunch of bozo's.

Which we were of course.  I traded in this great existance for a bride a new baby and 6 days a week of hard labor to support what I thought was my resposability in life.  Things may have turned out a bit different if I had truley known WTF.  Like all smart ass young going to the top peep's I knew it all though.  Don't get me wrong I would never have not taken care of my son no matter what but, what the hell did I know about being married at 18 and raising kids.  Hell I grew up with both my son and daughter and I'm glad I did.  I didn't get along to well with my new bride however most of the time.

I'm afraid she was a bit to serious for my laxidazicle attitude about what was and what wasen't important in life.  Sooooo, I stayed with her for 11 years and ended up giving her the whole shibang in order to get rid of her.

I made a huge mistake in that department and it didn't get me the wheeler I wanted due to the fact that I always had to have a damned truck for work.  Oh yeah!  I wheeled the hell out of them but most of the time I was road building and stuck in some ungodly ditch or snow bank etc.  One wheel drive really sucks!  It did back then and it still does.

Anyways, she got the mine and I got the shaft as the saying goes and I also got the kids thank god!  And yes, I was still the biggest kid in the lot.  I had no clue WTF I was doing so like most things in my life I played it by ear.  Got two good kids and three grandkids out of it and none of us ended up in prison so I must have done something right.

What's all this have to do with wheeling you might be asking yourselves?  I'm getting there ok!  Ya need some back ground don't ya?

Anyways, after dumping that albatros around my neck I made back enough cash to start getting the 4 wheel critters I desired.  I wanted the ability to get where most couldn't as does anybody that wheels does.  But things somehow got all turned around.  I had the cash to sort of semi set up a rig but .....what to get?  It seemed as though I was getting away from the original reason of owning an all wheel drive entirely.  I started subscribing to all the 4x4 magazines and bought right into their BS.

Hooked up with a bunch of Baja race truck friends and they really got me turned around!  Everything they did was huge HP and long wheel based completely stripped down and rebuilt 150 MPH cross country trucks.  They'd get ahold of my CJ-5's etc and turn them into scatt mobiles.  Have you ever tried to go 150 MPH in any jeep?  Especially a CJ-5?  Yikes!  So, as much as I tried to convince them that I wanted a slow mo rock crawler...they just couldn't grasp the idea.  Go figure, they were racers.  I did get a lot of great mods from them for the time but.....nope!  Wrong party for me.  Got involved in the Mint 400 and Baja 1000.  500 on pit crews etc but kept wondering off to explore junk off the beaten path.  Or in some great hooch drinking Mexican acid washed liquer.  heh heh!

Eventually I got back to reality and got a big assed IH Scout Travelor.

Decked it all out to the hilt.  I mean that baby had the works.  Then fell in with a bunch of short wheel base jeeps and it got pretty precarious trying to follow them.  I could but where they would walk through some deep channel straight on I had to go further up or down to cross.  That got old.  My prospective was again being challenged for what I wanted and why as far as a wheeler goes.

My experience with the Traveler was not to good.  As much as they touted them as big old farm trucks ready to take on the world....they lied.  That thing sucked!  I blew the engine up bird hunting once.  They told me not to ever let it get low on oil.  I did.  It exploded.  Cost me 2K to get a "new" engine rebuilt.  Next thing that happened was that I was about 10 miles north of Gilla Bend AZ at 1:30 am doing 75 MPH layed back listening to tunes with a half full bottle of Vodka in my lap and lost the entire left rear wheel assembly.  Good thing I had a great lift and spring package on that thing is all I have to say.  Long story short...after a few days it got fixed but I was pretty dissapointed in it.  The last straw was when I was all the way down Indian Pass on the Co river alone....the freaking dash started burning up.  I mean it got to instant flames.  I had nothing in the way of emergency junk so I improvised with shaking up beer bottles and spreying under the dash.  Hahaha!  I diodn't know WTF!  Ran out of those and reverted to used beer.  That got to be a little combersome and luckely some old codger and his wife in an open 1940 circa flatty Willys came up behind me.  He of course had an extinguisher.  It was one of those you see in the buildings hanging on the wall.  Looked like a freaking diving tank!  But, it put the fire out.  Which I could have done myself if I had of turned off the ignition!!!.  In any case.

I had a date with some hottie in Yuma and had to get going.  Thanks the old man and offered him a few bruskies (which he declined) and figured with all the junk off I was good to go.  Wrong!  The fire started again.  The codger offered to let me take the extinguisher with and I had to use it because I had no idea how to wire the truck without going through the ignition.  I finally get to the ranger Station where the Rangers son was getting Married.  heh heh!  He invited me in and well, I joined in on the fun!  hey!

They had free drinks ok.  Finally some guy and his wife from England give me a ride into Yuma in a Rover to seek help and so I could hook up with this hottie I was supposed to meet there.  Once I got to the hotel and washed off all the used beer and crud I had aquired on this adventure I was standing in the window and notice a bunch of hot rods in the parking lot.  Boing!  hey!

Those guys will surley know how to hot wire that thing.  Well, I hop on down there feeling a little foolish because, well I was a little foolish.  I ask a few of them and after some looks like I was a strange dude they informed as to how to get it wired without going through the ignition.  Or dash I should say.  I get this hotti to take me back out there over 27 miles of rutted and nasty road to retrieve the poor truck.  I do what those boys told me and umm!

Emberassingly I admit I turned on the key to get it started.  They neglected (or thought I was smart enough) to tell me that once it was going to turn off the ignition.  Or to pop the starter selenoid and forget the ignition.  Yep!  I had at least three more fires before I realized that I did not need the ignition on.

None of the lights turn signals or anything electrical worked of course and I was afraid to shut it off even getting gas in Yuma.  So, I needed to get that hunk home 200 miles away before dark.  Had to leave the hottie sitting around the pool probably to be scavanged by some ruphian hot rodder that night.  Man!  That was many years ago and it still pisses me off.  Had her flown in from another state too!

Anyway, I do finally get all the way home without a radio air conditioning or any other type electrical junk.  Call the insurance co and they pick it up.  Get it back after three weeks or re-wireing and a paint job and get 5 miles up the road when a Power steering hose breaks.  No shit!  It freaking catches on fire under the hood too!  Haha!  And me with no extinquisher still.

All I could do was sit there and watch it.  Had no beer and was fresh out of used beer.  By some dumb luck I'm right across the street from the local water co.  Some guy drives out and puts the fire out.  I take it back to the insurance and when it's all done.  I prey it lasts on my way to the jeep dealer where I trade it in on a new CJ-5.

But, was this really what I wanted?  And would it do what I wanted it to do and carry all my exploring junk.  Haha!  You'd be suprised!  It did for 11 years all over the south west including trips to Baja.  Well, until I installed my own Amp meter in the dash and fried the entire jeep in front of my house one night.  I know!  Don't even say it!

So, back to the issue.......

I really couldn't make up my mind what the hell to get next.  I fianlly found Pokey and it was a pristine stock jeep.  It worked out fine but was and is still a little small in the carrying all the junk catagory.  Although, we have taken it on many extended trips and camped out of it as a primery vehicle.  It still didn't take care of some of the major issues of what was best for what I wanted to do.  I no longer am trying to keep up with the "who can climb the biggest rock" bunch and if I need to I can use the pokester for that.  But I needed something larger for certain trips.  I get a Willys truck and by the time I was done building it, it had less room in it than pokey.  I mean if I build it.  Which I haven't.  Theres a lot of trips that a motor home just won't do that I want to go on.  I get the chance to buy my "87" waggy and jump at it.  I've got that thing pretty much built for what I want.  Haven't used it yet but hey!  haha!  We've been through a lot of wheelers so we know about what is and what ain't gonna work.  I also got an XJ but the wife obscounded with that.  I'm glad of course or I wouldn't have gotten the waggy.  I mean I've adorned it with every possible concievable thing I can think of so far.  From a full on sterio/CB/Ham/GPS/MX radio/CD/puter hookup for all possabilities and you name it.

AC/DC/inverters/MP-3 player/ And it's all built in.  It's strong enough to tow my boat and deposit me on any beach in Baja and back in style.

So, is it the rock bunch and semi rear ends and lockers up the yang I wanted?  Or a beach cruiser that will get me where I want to go and can actually sleep in?  Or is it a big combo of all of these?  Hell I don't know!  That's why I'm discussing with you yahoos I guess.  Am I just another wishy washy wheeler that can't make up my mind or?

I've owned and or built one for all seasons and still can't make up my mind.

What the hell I have 4 jeeps and thinking on another one.  I guess I'll have to wait and see how it goes with what I have.  Maybe even dump a couple and get real funkie with something on a larger scale.  Hmmmm!  A 4x4 MH with a lift maybe!  Damned if I can figure it out.  All I know is I probably won't know if I have the right rig so I guess I'll just have to keep searching.  In the mean time I'll be the guy down in Baja scratching my knoggin trying to figure it out.  I'll be adding satalite puter access so maybe I'll let you know when I'm stuck down there in real time.  I mean....if my batteries hold up and I don't burn the darned waggy to the ground.  Yep!  You guessed it.  I wired the whole damned thing myself.  heh heh!  Hey!  Ya never know if ya quit trying right!!  So my question you boyz/girlz is........is your wheeler suited for what you inteneded?  Or are you as lame as I am?

See ya all down there.  Or wherever..........

Bud